Rich Bailey's Journal

4:50pm: nice
what a very nice weekend:)

not much goin on, but at the same time, lots is goin on. does that make sense? no... lol

well since changing my majors, it allowes me to leave CCAc, blah, next year. so spring is my last semester there and last spring in pittsburgh, at least for awhile. so my goal is to move june of next year, to wherever my school will be. lol i am not sure where that is. so i guess that means i have 352 days left in pitt. sigh.

in august or september i will be completing my bartending certification, as soon as school gives me my damn money, so wherever i move, i should not have a problem getting a job:)

so thats that:) friday was robs birthday and me, him, and josh went to dinner and then had a few drinks:-D it was very nice to spend time with them.

last night, o was it fun:) me and pat did dinner and movie. Mr. & Mr.s Smith was awesome! that movie is so great. i would def. see it again, and maybe again:) lol then we went dancing at the eagle, most fun ive had at that place:-D

next weekend we are off to Cedar Point for gay day and such:) i cant wait, never been and i think it will be awesome:-D

ok thats it for now i guess.

hmmm... i dont know if i have a song in my head... for once, i don't. so i guess there shall be no song....

!

1:21pm: wonderful weekend
sigh... what a good weekend....

sorry rosie about the pageant, we all knwo who the real winner is. "WE Win"

first official party was awesome here, i say about 30 to 40 made it at about 2 am so thats not too shabby... we still got it;)

hmmm.... today is Eda's final performance of her one woman show at her church *tear* theres more comin though:)

actually i need to be on my way.... now. lol

what else.... im goin to dc next weekend:-D woo hoo! and sarah maclachlan on wednesday, jeff has free tickets, thats it why:) lol

jordan, eda, and rosie- love you guys tons, thanks for sticking with me through all the crap

pat thanks for a wonderful time:-D

josh and robbie- huggles, love you guys

adam *tear*- we are gonna miss you so much, cant wait to come visit in NYC:-D

thanks to all my wonderful friends, you know to whom you are, for a great weekend, it was awesome:)

i guess i shall go get my momma now:-D

Go Pirates:-D

song:

i love this more than any other right now, however i cannot find the lyrics:(

Tina Ann- Rise Again :)
so true.... download it, youll love it:-D

laters everyone:-D

5:32pm: im baaaaaaaack
life is good.....

i love this song:

"What you see's not what you get
With you, there's just no measurement
No way to tell what's real from what isn't there

Your eyes, they sparkled
That’s all changed into lies
That drop like acid rain
You washed away the best of me
You don't care

You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for in this world
There’s no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You are wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone

Sometimes shattered, never open
Nothing matters when you're broken
That was me, whenever I was with you
Always ending, always over
Back and forth, up and down, like a roller coaster
I am breaking that habit today

You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for in this world
There is no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You are wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone

There is nothing you can say
Sorry doesn't cut it, babe
Take the hit and walk away
Cause I'm gone
Doesn’t matter what you do
It’s what you did that's hurting you
All I needed was the truth
Now I'm gone

What you see's not what you get
What you see's not what you get

You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for in this world
There’s no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You are wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That's just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone

I'm already gone
Ooh, I'm already gone
Already gone
I'm gone"
Kelly Clarkson -"Gone"

10:35am: LaLaLaLa
82 degrees...sunny...beach....life sux! hahaha NOT!! it is so awesome here guys! i am so in love with my surroundings. for the first time in my life, i am happy and content with everything. life could not be better for me. i hope all is well in pittsburgh, i miss you guys so much, you need to come visit and move down here, one visit is all it will take! last nights journal entry was a bit bitchy of me, but that is why i left pittsburgh partly, everyone is jammed so far up everyones ass when it comes to drama, its ridiculous. i hope you all save yourselves before it sux you in. most of you are too good for the drama that the gay scene brings in. im happy i got the guts to follow my dreams and for once, i can actually see them a bit in reach, may be far away, but closer than they were. thank all of you i can consider friends, it means a lot, one day, you will not be sorry. for those of you who are liars to me and talk about me behind my back, enjoy, if you're that bored, ill work on getting ya some stuff to gossip about, its kinda fun sometimes. laters:-D

ps new address coming soon, we move into our 3 bedroom house next week:)

9:00pm: I'M A WHORE...IN CHARLESTON:)
HIYA EVERYONE!!!!!

hahahaha so im here for good. i just got back from pittsburgh moving my stuff. no more of that for me. i don't have a lot of time, but there are still those of you who feel the need to say shit about me. newsflash!!! i don't give a fuck! so stop! im gone, find someone else to talk about:) thankies:-D

12:59pm: Last time...
Hey everyone,

Well my phone is disconnected and I have no more internet. This is the last time I will be online until I get to my Charleston. Today is Friday and tomrorow I am hoping to see some of at my house and/or the club. Feel free to email me at exoticpersonage@aol.com, but please give me time to respond!:) Thank you everyone for all you have done and for being in my life. It is time to close this chapter and open a new one:-D See you all very soon:)

~rich

9:16pm: La La La La La......Smile:-D
I would like to start this entry with a little song:

"In My Car (I'll Be The Driver)"
~Shania Twain

You can choose a channel..
when we're watching the t.v.
oh babe, it's okay
and you can pick the flavor
when we're ordering ice cream
i don't mind..yeah, that's fine
i do.. - hoo - hoo--
anything for you - hoo - hoo

Ah, It's alright if you sleep with
your socks on - oh, babe! it's oky!
and you can hurt my head with
your favorite rock song
i dont mind - yeah, that's fine

For you - hoo - hoo there's
nothin' that i wouldn't do - hoo - hoo
you can put a hole in my shoe

Chorus:
But in my car - I'll be the driver
in my car - I'm in control
In my car - I come alive and
In my car - I am the driver -
watch me now!


You can blame me when you run outta
razors - oh, babe - it's okay!
and i will run around when
you ask me for favors -
i don't mind - that's fine

For you - hoo - hoo - There's nothin'
that i wouldn't do - hoo - hoo
you can put a hole in my shoe

(Repeat Chorus)

(Instrumental Chorus)

I don't mind if you think you're
the strong one, yeah
oh, babe! it's okay!
and you can have your way, honey,
even when you're wrong
i don't mind! yeah, that's fine!

For you - hoo - hoo - there's nothin'
that i wouldn't do - hoo - hoo
you can put a hole in my shoe

(Repeat Chorus)

Not you - hoo - hoo, not you - hoo -
hoo, not you - hoo - hoo
yeah, in my car i'll be the driver"

So yeah, a little song to make everyone happy:-D

I don't have much to say besides I'm sorry to any of you who feel hurt by me not telling you about my moving plans. It was not because I wanted to piss anyone off, it was to save me stress. Had I told everyone I was thinking about moving a month ago, I would hear, you'll never leave, or people try to talk me out of it. I have made up my mind, this is to better my future, I'm going. I will be back to get all of my stuff and see everyone once again in approximently a month or so. I will contact everyone when I can. My cell works the same down there, so I can get calls, although I will not be answering a lot of the time due to being busy, or phone off, or away from my phone. LEAVE A MESSAGE! I appreciate the support of everyone in this move that I am making and hope you will see, it is for the better. For those of you who won't beleive I'm leaving, you never will. I will be gone for 6 months and you will still think I won't make it. Well let me tell you, not only will I make it, I'm all ready gone and started! So its all good:-D I hope to see lots of people this weekend becuase it is the last time I will have a chance for awhile. Feel free to email me while im gone, give me time to respond:-D Thank all of you for the good times and the smiles and the drunken parties, I will carry all of you with me:-D

4:20pm: ...One Last Time....
Hiya all,

I just wanted to say Hi! Ok, there's more, but still.

First off, Sunday, March 23rd will be my last day in the Pittsburgh/Ohio area. I will be leaving that night for Charleston, SC and Ft. Lauderdale, FL. My apartment will be vacant as of then. I am moving the 23rd, meaning my apartment will be empty late the 22nd. I am having one last get together, party, drunken whatever, here, for the last time, in my apartment. The plan is to stay here, get drunk, go to Club2000 for Lady Jazelles show, then back here to.... whatever. Everyone will have to leave by noon on Sunday. I would like as many people as possible to come, so I can see you all one last time. This is for real, I'm not joking or just pissed, I'm serious. My apartment is half empty now and everything is in order for me to leave. I will have more info on my permanent place once I get there, yes I said when I get there, meaning I do not know where I will end up, but I know it will be great wherever it is:) Thank all of you who have been a friend to me over the last few years, I will not forget any of you, and also thanks to all the assholes who have the need to have imput on every part of my life and always be negative, thank you for motivating me more to get out and continue my upward success in life:)

So in summary, Sat. March 22, 2003, 8pmish, Party at Rich's then Club2000. This is going to be one of the best ones, my house is empty!!! We can get drunk and fall anywhere!!! hahaha Call my cell or email me to confirm. I would like to see a lot fo people here, I will miss a lot of people!

6:47pm: "I'm an internet whore...I'm an internet whore..!
YAY! From a reply sent from "Anonymous" I was called an internet whore, as compared to a regular whore, I think that title is a bit more classy! hahaha Now why are you going to go and type a reply and not put a name? Do you know livejournal screens all the IP numbers of the replies and if I really want to know who you are, I can. Also, you stated in your reply, my site will make me no money. Well I would like to point out, I don't work, I'm not hurting for money, and I'm going on a two week vacation come the end of this month. Also, I have 6 modeling interviews in the next month, and 3 job offers, so if you call that going no where, then damn when I start going somewhere, I'll be flying:) You see, the fucking loser that typed that reply, is just that, a loser. You have time to sit down, read my journal, watch my site, and say I'm going no where? What are you doing with your life? Also, you said you will take all the pics off my site to remind me of what a whore I am, well in order to get all the pics on my site, you have to join it, so you joined my site, thank you for the money:) So yeah, as I go no where with my life, I'm going to go work out, because although the asshole who replied to my journal may not admit that I'm going somewhere, I and others know different:-D Buh bye for now:)

4:29pm: ".......Let's Go......."
Hiya everyone:-D

If you are reading this to start shit...FUCK OFF:) hehehe Now that I started on a very positive note, I'll continue:)

How is everyone? I am FABulous:-D Not quiet sure why, but I am damn happy, and this is not alcohol induced. lol I have a news flash for my life, for those of you who care, obviously some of you do, or just need shit to gossip about because you read this:-D So for those of you who gossip, I'll start. Let's see, this week I will be a nasty slut with crabs (that jump FAR), check back next week for new disease:) Seriously, for those of you who have to say stuff about me constantly, get a fucking life, you guys kill me, not to be cocky, but jealousy is so not a good color on you:) It doesn't piss me off anymore, in fact, its fucking hilarious, you know I jsut found out I'm a drug dealer and an escort? WOW! Since I'm doing that, can I have all my money then please?!?!?! Hahahaha, funny shit.

So yeah, Saturday yet another chapter of my life was closed, me and Jason broke up. No particular reason, besides it's very stressful to date someone you can't see all that often, and has to lie about his lifestyle, and I don't blame him for this, we all had to do it at one time, but I choose not to make it a part of my life. Everything happens for a reason, so this falls in that category:) For those of you who may have something to say about this or make up lies about the situation, I know a guy named Todd who would love to hear it and have a field day with it:)

So now that that part of my life is covered, oh yeah, for those of you who watched my webcam last night, since I guess a lot of you have, the kid that was fucking me, his name is Nick (just so you have his name right when the rumors start;). By the way, did you see the size of the smile on my face? EXACTLY, I am happy, and right now, that's all that matters, I don't have time to make everyone else happy, because eventually, they just get pissed at you anyway, so why bother? I don't give a fuck anymore, I know who my true friends are (very few of them), and for the rest of who try to run my life, look at yours, and focus on it, mine is going just fine without you leading it..Thankx:-D If I want to fuck someone different everynight, I will, and I'll come here and type about it, wanna know why? BECAUSE I CAN!!!! If you don't like that, fuck you:) Wow, quiet graphic huh?

Ok so really, moving on to...friends in my life. Where did you all go? Those of you I consider friends, you know who you are, thank you. For those of you who think you can enter my life and leave and enter again, think again, I will NEVER trust you if you do that. I trust pretty much no one, just because the way things are, and I know a few of you out there can understand. I also took a look at my life recently, and realized I am surrounded by quiet a few people who seem to bitch about everything. I mean you win a million, you want a million and one. You will NEVER be happy if all you do is BITCH! I am not going to bother to appease you any longer! You know who you are. You people think I don't know what is said behind my back? The people you say shit too, are the same ones who say shit behind your back..to me:) Think about it...DUH! Hahahaha you people kill me:) I would like to personally thank Jeffrey Kash for being a wonderful friend to me, as well as Jordan, you mean the world to me, I'm glad I can always count on you to be there for me:) Josh, I just started hanging out with you, but you're a blast...want a drink? hehehe Crystal, I love you hun, you will get some dick sometime, I just know it:) Mark, thank you for my site, and the money that comes with it, I like money. hahaha Hmmmm who else, o Nick hehe baby, you just kinda came in my life quick, I like you here, you should stay for awhile:) You are so fun, and don't give a shit about what people think, you will be my motivation:) Chris, my little straight model boi, thanks for trying to make me beautiful, when we are both famous, we will have to come back here and point and laugh. Hmm...If I didn't list you here, doesn't mean you are not my friend, just means I'm having a blonde moment:) hahaha Those of you who know me, it happens too much:( So yeah, am I dating anyone now? hehehe I'm not going to say anything, because I want people to assume the worst, because that's what everyone does anyway right? Oh yeah, Brian Kowalski, you are also my motivation to tell people to fuck off, if anyone knows how it feels to be stabbed in the back, you do, remember the people who did it, and remember the people in your life now who are fake and just put on a show, YOU know who I'm talking about! Oh yeah, Zack and Danny, you guys can do anything you want, you guys are hot, and so good together, when I visit Vegas in a few years, can I come over for dinner? hahaha

Ok, now to the good shit:) My life is going.."UP! Up! Up!.." hahaha The 23rd of this month, I with my best friend Jordan, will be departing from Pittsburgh (aka hell) and leaving for the south:) We will arrive in Charleston, SC where we will stay in ocean front hotel for 5 days:) There I will be checking out the living area, I have been offered a few job opps. for a new club opening and a restaurant, appropriately named Noah's, or for now it might be;) I have like 6 auditions for modeling and acting to do there as well:) Then we are off to Port Orange, Orlando, Port St. Lucy, Miami, and Ft. Lauderdale, Florida for a week or so:) There we will have various things going on, just not sure what yet:) hahaha So yeah, for those of you who think I won't be doing this, wait till the 24th:) I'm not sure if I will be moving there, I guess I will find out;) So yeah, fun eh? hahaha

Oh yes, for those of you who have a problem with my little site, why the fuck are you going to it then? Are you fucking stupid? wait, I hate when I ask rhetorical questions. YOU ARE! If you don't like the way I live my life, why the hell you want to go see my naked ass running around fucking and what not? IDIOTS! AS a wise man & woman once said "Honey, if you surround yourself with children, you have to expect the immaturity" Children can we ANY age by the way! Thanks Eda for that quote;) So yeah, :)

Well now that I updated you on all the shit goin on, oh wait, this Friday at Vice I am honored to be a part of my good fried Nick's show (not the one from last night, my hot little ex who lives far away now:() I'm going to be an angel, how appropriate, hahaha, NOT! Next Saturday, I'm honored yet again to be part of my friend Aaron's show, I'm a Go-Go dancer, now that's more me;) Member most of you think I'm a slut, dancing half naked suites me:) Friday, March 21st, possibly, not sure yet, I will be Shania Twain at Drag Search. I'll keep you all posted on that one, me a drag queen, wow, I hear the rumors and shit now. hahahaha

So yeah, I'm done, if this journal entry pissed you off, FUCK OFF! If it made you smile, here's a hug from me to you. If it made you cry, then you are way too involved in my life. lol So it's all good, my life will go MY way from now on, if you don't like it, get out of my way before I push you over!

Expect no sympathy or empathy from me for your life, it is what you make of it, and if you chose to bitch about it and do nothing to change it, sucks to be you!

That's my thoughts on life, now I'm sure some of you have yours:) Don't play that anonymous bull shit either, if you have something to say, I wanna know who you are. I know some of you will support whatever I do, those are the people in my life who have their own lives and just want to be happy, for those of you who don't, don't worry about me, when I'm happy and rich and out of here, I'll send a postcard to tell you "I TOLD YOU SO!"

Thank you;)

2:27pm: Another Party:)
Hiya everyone.

I am here to announce yet another party, but short notice this time;) It is this Friday, Feb. 28 th at 8pm ish. It is at Eda Bagels house (aka Jeffrey). If you express interest in going, email me or IM me or call me. Most are invited unless you are a drama queen and we don't like you:) hahaha Eda will not be cooking here guys, just drunken falling down party:) Might go to Pegs sometime that night, but not for sure. Hoep to have a good turn out:)

8:44pm: PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PARTY AT RICH'S (BRIANS APARTMENT)

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2003

8 PM UNTIL ANYTIME

ANYONE WELCOME TO STAY WHO COMES

IF YOU PLAN ON DIRNKING, BRING ALCOHOL, WILL NOT RUN OUT AGAIN. LOL

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU ARE WELCOME TO COME UNLESS:

I DON'T KNOW YOU PERSONALLY (UNLESS YOUR A
FRIEND OF A FRIEND AND I KNOW ABOUT IT)

I DON'T LIKE YOU

YOU DON'T LIKE ME

BRIAN DON'T LIKE YOU

YOU DON'T LIKE BRIAN

YOUR BORING! HAHAHAHA

SO I HOPE TO SEE LOTS THERE, IT WILL BE A BLAST NO DOUBT. HATE VALENTINES DAY? THEN THIS IS PERFECT, GET DRUNK AND FORGET ABOUT IT. HAHAHA

THERE WILL BE NO DRUGS AT THIS PARTY AND IF ANYONE TRIES, YOU WILL BE REMOVED.

THIS PARTY WILL BE VIEWED BY APPROXIMENTLY 200 PEOPLE THROUGH RICH'S SITE, IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, DO NOT ATTEND. ALSO, ANYONE WHO STEPS FOOT IN THE DOOR, AGREES TO HAVE THEIR FACE AND/OR NAME ON RICH'S SITE. (IF YOU NEED MORE DETAILS ABOUT THIS, LET ME KNOW)

8:36pm: PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PARTY AT RICH'S (BRIANS APARTMENT)

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2003

8 PM UNTIL ANYTIME

ANYONE WELCOME TO STAY WHO COMES

IF YOU PLAN ON DIRNKING, BRING ALCOHOL, WILL NOT RUN OUT AGAIN. LOL

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU ARE WELCOME TO COME UNLESS:

I DON'T KNOW YOU PERSONALLY (UNLESS YOUR A
FRIEND OF A FRIEND AND I KNOW ABOUT IT)

I DON'T LIKE YOU

YOU DON'T LIKE ME

BRIAN DON'T LIKE YOU

YOU DON'T LIKE BRIAN

YOUR BORING! HAHAHAHA

SO I HOPE TO SEE LOTS THERE, IT WILL BE A BLAST NO DOUBT. HATE VALENTINES DAY? THEN THIS IS PERFECT, GET DRUNK AND FORGET ABOUT IT. HAHAHA

THERE WILL BE NO DRUGS AT THIS PARTY AND IF ANYONE TRIES, YOU WILL BE REMOVED.

THIS PARTY WILL BE VIEWED BY APPROXIMENTLY 200 PEOPLE THROUGH RICH'S SITE, IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, DO NOT ATTEND. ALSO, ANYONE WHO STEPS FOOT IN THE DOOR, AGREES TO HAVE THEIR FACE AND/OR NAME ON RICH'S SITE. (IF YOU NEED MORE DETAILS ABOUT THIS, LET ME KNOW)

8:36pm: PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PARTY AT RICH'S (BRIANS APARTMENT)

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2003

8 PM UNTIL ANYTIME

ANYONE WELCOME TO STAY WHO COMES

IF YOU PLAN ON DIRNKING, BRING ALCOHOL, WILL NOT RUN OUT AGAIN. LOL

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU ARE WELCOME TO COME UNLESS:

I DON'T KNOW YOU PERSONALLY (UNLESS YOUR A
FRIEND OF A FRIEND AND I KNOW ABOUT IT)

I DON'T LIKE YOU

YOU DON'T LIKE ME

BRIAN DON'T LIKE YOU

YOU DON'T LIKE BRIAN

YOUR BORING! HAHAHAHA

SO I HOPE TO SEE LOTS THERE, IT WILL BE A BLAST NO DOUBT. HATE VALENTINES DAY? THEN THIS IS PERFECT, GET DRUNK AND FORGET ABOUT IT. HAHAHA

THERE WILL BE NO DRUGS AT THIS PARTY AND IF ANYONE TRIES, YOU WILL BE REMOVED.

THIS PARTY WILL BE VIEWED BY APPROXIMENTLY 200 PEOPLE THROUGH RICH'S SITE, IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, DO NOT ATTEND. ALSO, ANYONE WHO STEPS FOOT IN THE DOOR, AGREES TO HAVE THEIR FACE AND/OR NAME ON RICH'S SITE. (IF YOU NEED MORE DETAILS ABOUT THIS, LET ME KNOW)

8:16pm: ::GLOMP::
Hiya all:-D

Here I am again, updating my journal not as much as I said I was. hahahaha So whats new with me? Nothin. hahaha That could be a good thing or a bad thing. I have however experience Pegasus for the first time. I must say, it is highly overrated and Vice Versa in Morgantown, WV is still my favorite club:) I just want to go and dance and have fun with friends, is there a need for all that drama? Anywho, I just got home from driving to St. C with Tim and Rob. I haven't really hung out with just them before, it was nice to get out with them:) Thankx guys:) So yeah, I guess thats it for now. Argh, I had a nice weekend, Pegs Thursday night; Vice Versa Friday night; Tim, Crystal, and Chris stayed over Friday night, all day Saturday and my good friend Chris stayed over Saturday night and Jason surprised me on Sudnay by visitng me and making me dinner:-D So here I am now, this weekend, I think possibly Vice Friday night; Saturday shopping with Eda; Saturday night spending time with Jason and Matt, and I think Matt's friend Todd; Sunday Eda's show at her church. Speaking of this, everyone ie encouraged to go to this to support a good cause, and see a very wonderful show. The show includes Eda Bagel, Kierra Darshell, Courtney Brown, Tamarraw Night, Jazelle van Cartier and more!! This show will be taped by VH-1, along with Eda for the weekend. Eda was chosen for a documentary on VH-1. I'm proud of you Eda, if anyone deserves it, it's you!!!
Muah:-*

Ok, so I'm done now, see you guys soon:-D

3:16pm: :-D
I can't think of a time where I have been happier!!! Right now...Life doesn't get any better:) Thank you god, and most of all, thank you Jason for such a great weekend and everday I have with you, I and everyone who know you, are very fortunate to have you in their life, I'm so thankful for you:) Thanks to all my great friends too, I'm so happy, it's been awhile since I could say that without doubt in my voice:) YAY!!


Song of the moment:
"Escape"
(9 months ago, me and Jaosn were meeting for the first time, to this song:)
~Enrique Iglesias

Here’s how it goes
You and me
Up and down
But maybe this time
We’ll get it right
Worth the fight
'Cause love is something
You can't shake
When it breaks
All it takes is some trying

If you feel like leaving
I'm not gonna
Beg you to stay
Soon you'll be finding
You can run
You can hide
But you can't
Escape my love
You can run
You can hide
But you can't
Escape my love

So if you go
You should know
It's hard to just
Forget the past
So fast
It was good
It was bad but
It was real and that's
All you have
In the end
Our love mattered

If you feel like leaving
I'm not gonna
Beg you to stay
Soon you'll be finding
You can run
You can hide
But you can't
Escape my love
You can run
You can hide
But you can't
Escape my love

You can run
You can hide
But you can't
Escape my love
You can run
You can hide
But you can't
Escape my love

Here's how it goes
All it takes is some trying

You can run
If you feel like leaving

I'm not gonna
Beg you to stay
Soon you'll be finding
You can run
You can hide
But you can't
Escape my love

If you feel like leaving
I'm not gonna
Beg you to stay
Soon you'll be finding
You can run
You can hide
But you can't
Escape my love

You can run

(You can run, you can hide But you can't escape my love)

No need to escape here! :)

3:14pm: Kur Plunk!
Hiya everyone,

Wow look it's not 4 months later and I'm updating my journal, I'm actually staying on top of it:) lol Whats new with everyone? Not much here, but I guess everyone knows everyhting about me now, and if they don't, it's on my site:) hahahaha Which we will not list here:) Right now, I'm quiet happy with my life and everything in it, although I think I need a job. hahaha Me and Franco broke up Christmas night, everything happens for a reason, and we are still on good terms, I believe. Jason is back in my life from 9 months ago and I couldn't be happier. :) We are now together, which if you would have asked me if you saw us together two months ago, I would say hell no, but I beleive that somethings are just supposed to be:) Last night I thought it would be fun to go to Vice, omg, yes I said Vice Versa fun, I actually love it down there, and the more I go, the more fun I have:) LAst night I picked up Patrick, Jordan met me here, as did Nick, and then we picked up Aaron and went to Morgantown:) I think last night was a night me and Nick got along better than even when we dated sometimes, it was nice. *hug* for Nick too, with the whole Dustin thing, you can do better babe, you deserve it too!:) I had a great time at Vice you guys, Thank you guys again:) Aaron seemed to have a good time too, hahaha, you go girl;) Hmmm.... what else to say? I dunno, I hope you are ok Nick, your away message seemed sad, you always have a friend here if you need anything, really:) Well, I am going to go eat, and then go bowling, it's been two weeks, I have missed it so much:) lol Oh yeah, omg, I almost forget to put it in here, Friday night Jason, Brian K, Matt, and Justin stayed the night here. I had a great tiem, Matt and Justin are awesome, so cute together:) I think Brian was mad a t Jason however, he hurt Jason's feelings:( *sigh* Anyway, no drama here, there is enough of it elsewhere:( Ok, I'm really going now, bye bye!

Song of the moment:
Las Ketchup
"The Ketchup Song"

10:10am: :)
Everything better!

12:21am: Merry Mas!
Merry Christmas Everyone! I hope everyone has a safe, happy, and most of all, loving holiday. This is the time to love everybody and forget about the pitty things we often fight about and instead of ignore....hug. Actions speak a lot louder than words, during this time of the year, make your actions make someone smile. You will feel good inside, and most of all, make them feel great. The best things in life do come free, family and friends being the most important of them, don't miss the opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to you.

"Live everyday as if it is your last, one of these days, it will be."

Marry Christmas!!!

PS Due to recent drivers and incidents with other drivers, watch out on the roads, people don't know how to drive. I now know this from personal experience. hahahaha


Song of the moment:
"Jingle Bells"
hahahaha

2:09pm: Party at Rich's
YAY! One day till the big 18th party. It is confirmed now. lol The party will be Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 8 pm till....whenever with plans to go to Club2000 afterwards:) The party is not at my place, but at my friend Brian's house, located behind mine, on Fourth Street. If you need directions, IM me on AIM at exoticpersonage or email me at exoticpersonage@aol.com even if I have an away message up and I'll catch ya back:) So this is a bring your own booze type deal, I will have some there of course, but I'm not sure I can support everyone habit! hahaha If you are reading this, consider this a formal inviation, unless I don't know you because then it will be just scary. lol

4:20pm: Gingerbread....Pile?
Hahahaha, well I think this is supposed to be a Gingerbreead house, but right now, its a pile of gingerbread. hahahaha Oh well, you know what they say, you'll have that! hahaha So an update to all my party plans. lol My party is still on, but instead of at my place, or apartment A, lol, it is going to be at friend Brians apartment, which is locted right behind mine above the garage. There is much more room there and the neighbors won't bitch. The plan is to go to Club2000 after so please bring ID's! Also, I have three people who confirmed staying over with me, if you plan on staying, I need to know, I can only fit so many. People are welcome to stay at Brian's too:-D Thankx Bri for all the help. So I hope I see lots of you Saturday.

As for now, I'm bored, but glad I am, because the next couple of week are real busy! The good kind. A lot is starting to happen so it's all good:) So yeah, I'm gonna go now, I actually have something to do, hahahaha! Remember to call me and let me know if you are coming Saturday to the party!:)

Quote:
"Live everyday as if it's your last, one of these, it will be!" ~ Angelina Jolie "
"Life or Something Like It" Damn good movie!!!

Song:
"What A Way To Wanna Be" ~Shania Twain

I don't wanna wear that!
it only makes me look fat!
time to tone my thighs
gotta lose another size, yeah!
what a way to wanna be!

Exfoliate, look great!
Feel guilty 'bout what you ate
You're buyin' all the books--
to learn the latest looks, yeah
What a way to wanna be!

We like to buy, we like to spend,
to keep up with the latest trend
But we don't get no satisfaction
living like a slave to fashion
No more thinking for yourself,
just get it off a shelf

Chorus: Oh--oh, why be perfect--no--oh,
it's not worth it
Don't be so obsessed--c'mon give it a rest
This is not some contest--just do your best
'Cause no--oh body's perfect!
What a way to wanna be

Moisturize, exercise, erase the
rings around your eyes
Cover what you can,
get a Coppertone tan, yeah
What a way to wanna be!

Stabilize the mood you're in--
you're back on diet food again
Bigger is the best, but only
in the chest, yeah!
What a way to wanna be

We like to buy, we like to spend,
to keep up with the latest trend
But we don't get no satisfaction
living like a slave to fashion
No more thinking for yourself,
just get it off a shelf

Repeat Chorus

It's so very--unnecessary
Yeah, how insane--to be so vain
It's so synthetic--I just don't get it
I don't get it, baby, yeah, yeah

Don't be so obsessed--c'mon give it a rest
This is not some contest--just do your best
'Cause no--oh body's perfect!

(Ooooohhhhhh)

Oh, no--oh body's perfect
No--oh, it's not worth it
Don't be so obsessed
(No--oh body's perfect)
This is not some contest
(No--oh body's perfect)
Perfect! What a way to wanna be


*I went tanning today, go me, but I still don't have my Coppertone Tan!:(

1:28am: Good eh?
Hiya all,

Where the fuck should I start? How about how great of a weekend I had? Yes I did, I loved it and I know it's just the beginning. Why? Becuase I said so. hahahaha

Friday I went to Wexford to my friend Brian Kowalskis apartment. There I met for the first time Matt and Justin, who I must say are a blast and o so cute together:) I also met Brian's friend Donnie, but I didn't really get to talk to him much:( I also met Jason, a total sweetie and great friend, Zack & Joey, and then Sara and Jordan came. It was a great night, I got drunk off my ass, a sure good time, lol, and so did everyone else. It was great, Sara, Jordan, and Jason ran out in the snow, in the parking lot, naked and made snow angels. It was hilarious. I had a great time. Thank you guys for a great time, can't wait till next time:)

Saturday I kinda hung out around the house. After getting home from Brians, I naked the rest of the cookies for the bowling christmas party on Sunday. That night, Franco came over and we went to James' party for a little bit then came home and watched a movie. Err, rather, we came home, put the movie in, and fell asleep about 10 minutes later. lol I slept wonderful though:)

Sunday I went to the flea market with Brian, turing into a tradition with us, lol, and bought, nothing. lol Then I met Franco, his mom, her boyfriend, his sister, step-sister and grandparents for lunch at the Chine Buffet in the North Hills. I will admit, I was so nervous about that, but I had a great time, I loved it. Then after me and Franco got lost for about 2 hours driving his step sister home, I picked up Jason and we went bowling. Jason was a pacer bowler and kicked ass, he did damn good. lol There we met the usual team (Mike, Pter, Eda Bagel;),& Brian) then Jazelle and her hilarioud mom met us there. Later Franco again joined us:) We had a blast, we were the last team there for the night and enjoyed every minute of it:) lol Plus, Jazelle got me this awesome belly button playboy ring, I have it in now, I love it!!! It was a great time.

So that takes me to here, I'm so tired and have to be up at 7 so I'm going to go. Next weekend will be a blast as well, semi dance, vice versa, my party, club 2000, jazelles party. Good times. Hahahaha Laters:-D

Song: hmmm.... I dunno, lol. Guess there isn't one, I'm singing Shania, so I guess I'll put the song in my head.

Shania Twain
"I'm Gonna Getcha (Good)!"

Let’s go!

Don’t wantcha for the weekend - don’t wantcha for a night
I’m only interested if I can have you for life - yeah
Uh, I know I sound serious - and baby I am
You’re a fine piece of real estate, and I’m gonna get me some land

Oh, yeah
So, don’t try to run - honey, love can be fun
There’s no need to be alone - when you find that someone

Chorus:
(I’m gonna getcha)
I’m gonna getcha while I gotcha in sight
(I’m gonna getcha)
I’m gonna getcha if it takes all night
(Yeah, you can betcha)
You can betcha by the time I say "go," you’ll never say "no"
(I’m gonna getcha)
I’m gonna getcha, it’s a matter of fact
(I’m gonna getcha)
I’m gonna getcha, don’tcha worry ‘bout that
(Yeah, you can betcha)
You can bet your bottom dollar, in time you’re gonna be mine
Just like I should - I’ll getcha good

Yeah, uh, uh
I’ve already planned it - here’s how it’s gonna be
I’m gonna love you and - you’re gonna fall in love with me
Yeah, yeah

Oh, yeah
So, don’t try to run - honey, love can be fun
There’s no need to be alone - when you find that someone

(Repeat Chorus)

Yeah, I’m gonna getcha baby - I’m gonna knock on wood
I’m gonna getcha somehow honey - yeah, I’m gonna make it good
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, yeah
So, don’t try to run - honey, love can be fun
There’s no need to be alone - when you find that someone

(Repeat Chorus)

Oh, I’m gonna getcha, I’m gonna getcha real good
Yeah, you can betcha, oh, I’m gonna getcha
(I’m gonna getcha) just like I should, I’ll getcha good
Oh, I’m gonna getcha good!

1:28am: Good eh?
Hiya all,

Where the fuck should I start? How about how great of a weekend I had? Yes I did, I loved it and I know it's just the beginning. Why? Becuase I said so. hahahaha

Friday I went to Wexford to my friend Brian Kowalskis apartment. There I met for the first time Matt and Justin, who I must say are a blast and o so cute together:) I also met Brian's friend Donnie, but I didn't really get to talk to him much:( I also met Jason, a total sweetie and great friend, Zack & Joey, and then Sara and Jordan came. It was a great night, I got drunk off my ass, a sure good time, lol, and so did everyone else. It was great, Sara, Jordan, and Jason ran out in the snow, in the parking lot, naked and made snow angels. It was hilarious. I had a great time. Thank you guys for a great time, can't wait till next time:)

3:37am: 3:37 am...sleeep please?
Watching the clock...2:00, 2:30, 3:00, now 3:30. Gee why can't I sleep? O I don't know, maybe it's because I have ten million things running through my mind at once? Yeah maybe that's it. Maybe because I'm sitting here, thinking, why hasn't he called? Wait he was supposed to call twice tonight and didn't. See, the way I look at it, is when someone says they think about you non stop and that you make them so happy, then if you think about me so much, why can't you dial my number? Especially when you said you were going to? Even more so when you go to Pegasus, knowing I'm uncomfortable about that situation, and promising me you would call, and not calling!:( What that says to me...I'm sorry, I totally forgot, meaning I obviously wasn't a distant thought in your head, so meaning something from Pegasus must have distracted you. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I don't think so, there is no explanation for no call, especially when you know I'm here waiting. Ok, so it sounds like maybe I'm going overboard, maybe I am, but think about one thing, how important would you feel if someone didn't call you until you called them, almost like you are bothering them. It is a horrible feeling and makes me sad.:'( I don't want to be a bother to anyone, especially if they mean a lot to me. I just don't see how a simple phone call, or email, or text message, or anything just to say "I'm thinking about you" is so hard. Maybe I let you know every chance I have that I'm thinking about you, that you figure I all ready know, well sometimes people have to be reminded. Call me over sensitive, I call me caring. This sucks pretty bad right now, sitting here, in my dark living room staring at a computer venting, wondering, is he home ok? Did something happen to him? Did he find someone more interesting? I don't like those thoughts, but obviously if I'm thinking them, then maybe I need to be reminded that I do mean something to someone who means a lot to me?!?! So I dunno what else is going through my mind. I'm not mad, I'm not like crying upset, I'm not bitter, I'm concerned and hurt I guess. You may ask, hurt by someone not calling? Well this isn't the first, but in this case, no phone call can mean a lot, think about it. I hate waiting for someone to call, so why do it? I'm not sure, maybe I'm stupid? I don't think that's it at all, I want to be happy with someone, so maybe it's my fault. Am I the reason I'm not happy? I hope not, I mean, a phone call here and there, is that a lot to ask? If it is, someone please give me a reality check. I don't want to annoy anyone, I'm just confused? Who knows, grrr, lol, I'm so tired, why can't I just fall asleep? I guess another all nighter, only the 3rd one this week, I guess thats not too bad. Maybe that's why I feel like crap during the day. :'( Sometimes I feel so alone, and when I can't turn to the person that means the most to me to be there, it hurts, and I'm not sure what I am to do after that. Who knows, I guess I'll just deal with it, maybe I'm stupid for thinking about this way too much? :( Well however it may fall, it hurts and sucks, can someone give me a hug? Yeah, a hug would be nice, I guess I will wait till tomorrow, and deal with the way I feel now. So sorry to bore you, if you have any advice on this, please don't hesitate to let me know, I may need all the help I can get. *sigh*

Song:
"I'm With You"
By: Avril Lavigne

I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
Searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
'Cause nothing's going right
And everythings a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Oh why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

That's such a nice song, only listened to it about 50 times now, read it carefully, it says a lot!

12:58pm: My B-Day!
Hey all,

Here's the plan for the birthday partying!!! Hahaha, since my birthday falls on a Wednesday, the worst day to party, I'm doing it the weekend after (20th & 21st). On the 20th, I will be in Hopewell at the semi with Jordans sister Ashley, immediately following that, I will be in Morgantown to party.

Now the good stuff, my landlord has agreed to let me have a party here, at my house, on the 21st. It will be in Apartment A, not my apartment. Apartment A is empty and has more room.
So the plans are on Saturday, December 21, 2002, party at Rich's from around 8 pm until 12. Then following that, continue party at Club2000 till whenever. People are welcome to stay the night, but I can't fit everyone so let me know in advance if you want to stay!

So, Party: Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 8 pm at
711 North 4th Street, APT. A!!!!
Steubenville.

I will talk more in depth with individual people. Bring alcohol if you want to drink. I can only fit no more than 20 in my empty apartment, so call to let me know if you plan on coming:-D Laters!